Wonderbringers Newsletter with Monica Parker
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Hello Wonderseekers!
We’ve all probably heard the expression, ‘To err is human, to forgive, divine’. It came from a poem by Alexander Pope, in which he urged literary critics not to be too cruel in their judgments. It was a reminder that being human means making mistakes, but forgiving those mistakes is among the highest of moral virtues.
Turns out that forgiveness isn’t only morally divine, but it’s good for our mental health as well. A 2025 study of 463 university students in Spain found that people who scored higher on forgiveness measures reported lower depression, anxiety, stress, and anger, alongside higher self-esteem and hope for the future. These effects held even after controlling for other psychological factors, meaning that forgiveness isn't just a side effect of being well-adjusted, rather it actually improves mental health.
Forgiveness appears to benefit us in two ways. First, it lifts the weight of resentment, which can bog us down even if we are otherwise mentally healthy. And then, with resentment gone, forgiveness creates mental space for optimism and forward-looking thinking. By simultaneously reducing anger and increasing hope, forgiveness acts as an independent buffer against anxiety and depression while boosting self-esteem.
A real-world study confirms it isn't just theory. A 2024 Colombian public-health campaign teaching forgiveness to thousands of students reduced anxiety and depression while increasing overall life satisfaction and ‘flourishing’. These findings are encouraging therapists and educators to reframe forgiveness not only as a moral virtue but also as a learnable psychological skill that builds resilience during emotionally turbulent or conflicting times.
The pre-colonial Hawaiians believed that unresolved anger, resentment, and guilt cause illness and used a traditional ritual called Ho'oponopono (pronounced ho-oh-pono-pono). The word literally means ‘to make right’ or ‘to correct’, and it was originally practiced in a group and led by a healer or elder. The exercise facilitated healing between conflicting parties and served as a spiritual cleansing to restore harmony and promote reconciliation.
The modern version of Ho'oponopono is now typically practiced individually. It is a simple exercise you can use when you have erred and are seeking forgiveness, or when you need to find forgiveness in your heart for having been wronged.
It’s a simple four-phrase mantra:
‘I'm sorry’ – Feel remorse and acknowledge your part in the situation. This can sometimes be difficult if you feel that you were a blameless victim, but the purpose is to remind you that when someone wrongs you and you hold onto anger, you are causing your own repeated suffering.
‘Please forgive me’ – Ask forgiveness for carrying the negativity of resentment. This phrase reminds us that we are responsible for our internal experiences, and by holding a grudge, we perpetuate the original harm. These first two phrases lift the weight of resentment.
‘Thank you’ – Express gratitude for the experience, even if it was negative. Be grateful for the opportunity to release the anger and move on.
‘I love you’ – Send love - to yourself, to the transgressor, to the world. These last two phrases create the emotional space for optimism and hope.
Repeat these phrases, silently or aloud, until you feel the weight of resentment lift and the lightness of hope take root. For some, they can say it just once and feel the shift. For others, it may take the better part of a lifetime. Whatever works for you. See it as an exercise to strengthen your forgiveness muscle and improve your mental health.
Some wonderbringers for me this week:
Are they forgivable? In a national act of redemption, Rwanda aims to embrace 30,000 perpetrators of mass ethnic slaughter now returning home.
For 2026: There’s a better way to be hopeful.
The pain of perfectionism: Psychologists are discovering more and more about the real harm it causes.
With wonder,
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