Wonderbringers Newsletter with Monica Parker
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Hello Wonderseekers!
I am what is referred to (with kind jest) as a second-generation recovering Catholic. I was born and raised Catholic, confirmed as a teenager and then made the conscious decision to leave the church. I can’t say that I’ve been very active religiously in my adult life, but I have read the bible cover-to-cover. What resonated most deeply with me was the story of the money changers at the temple. Jesus was so irate at their taking advantage of ‘the alien, the fatherless or the widow,’ (e.g., the poor and vulnerable) that he violently flipped their tables. There is no doubt that Jesus viewed hypocrisy as the deepest of sins.
This week saw the passing of Pope Francis, and as I hear stories of the way he chose to live his life, I see that he, too, tried to fight against hypocrisy. He was open and humble, eschewing the pomp and prestige of the role. Willing to confront dogmatic legalism, he supported LGBTQ parishioners and finally took responsibility for the church’s tragic failures to its most vulnerable (although there is much more that needs to be done). He felt like a rarity, and the impact of his authentic leadership has been felt far beyond that of the Catholic faithful.
Why is it so rare to find leaders who practice what they preach? And how can we not fall into the hypocrisy trap ourselves?
Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash:
Hypocrisy exists in that space between what we say and what we do. Actions speak louder than words, but we live in a world that insists upon immediacy, not reflection. If you find yourself not being able to carry through on your promises, start making fewer of them. Instead, take meaningful action and talk about the results afterwards.
Cultivate empathetic humility:
One of the reasons we are so quick to make promises that we then struggle to fulfil is that we want to be seen as having the answers. We also express platitudes that elevate us to a moral high ground, with the fall from that lofty height that much tougher. Humility allows us to express uncertainty and admit when we get it wrong. It also helps us see others with empathy and not look down at them from a place of moral supremacy.
Make integrity a habit:
Research shows that we lie at least once a day (and more often when using tech tools than face-to-face). Integrity is a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger the habit becomes. For a week, try following just one value religiously (like ‘I will not lie’) and see if your awareness doesn’t begin to shift.
Some wonderbringers for me this week:
Condemned to death by firing squad, French resistance fighters put pen to paper: Their dying words can teach us how to live.
How to form good habits, and break bad ones: Trick your brain.
Touch: Our Most Complex Sense.
I’ll close with a quote from the late Pope Francis:
‘Have the courage to swim against the tide. And also, have the courage to be happy.’
With wonder,
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