Wonderbringers Newsletter with Monica Parker
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Hello Wonderseekers!
Anticipation. Those of us of a certain age can't see the word without thinking of the classic Heinz Ketchup commercial with the spectacular Carly Simon backing track. “Anticipatiooooon…. Anticipa-aaa-aaa-tion… is making me wait. It’s keeping me waa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-ting…”
The world has been awash with anticipation in the latest news cycles. Between the cease-fire and hostage release in Gaza to the new American president taking the helm, anticipation has folks on the edge of their seats. The ‘what’s next?’ aspect of anticipation drives dopamine cycles of clicking and scrolling, and it’s giving us veritable whiplash.
Anticipation is an odd sort of mixed emotion, as it heightens the base emotion of an experience. So if the experience is expected to be positive, that build-up makes the feelings more positive. This is why people often find planning a trip brings as much enjoyment as the trip itself. Masters of theme park psychology Disney use this knowledge in their ride queue design, utilising the waiting time to build anticipatory excitement that kills boredom.
But suppose the experience we are anticipating is a negative one? What is often referred to as ‘the fear of fear’ feeds anxiety, making the build-up to that experience more difficult. This is why we often either procrastinate a negative experience or rush to ‘get it over with.’ For example, the ‘fear of the fear’ of politics is now driving high levels of news avoidance and, worse, learned helplessness.
I recently read about a study where people were asked how long they would want to wait if they knew they were having an incredible dream wish fulfilled. When given the option, would you want to wait 3 hours, 24 hours, 3 days, 1 year or 10 years? If you chose 3 days, you’re in the majority. It's just enough time to be able to marinate in the excitement of anticipation. Too little time, not enough anticipatory build up. Too much time, the anticipation wanes.
But of course, our anticipation is not always correct. We can anticipate an amazing holiday and gain the benefits from that positive rumination, only to find the hotel infested with bed bugs. Alternatively, we can assume that a surprise meeting with our boss will result in our being fired, losing several nights’ sleep over it, only to discover that it’s actually a colleague who’s been sacked. Authors Martin N. Seif and Sally M. Winston call this negative rumination ‘bleeding before you are cut’, and they suggest using techniques to redirect the mind to the present, explaining that anticipatory anxiety is rooted in overthinking, and ‘too much thinking is not solved by more thinking.’
Ways to make anticipation work for you?
Every evening, write down something you are excited about the next day.
Travelling, but it seems too far off? Write a packing list a month prior that can eke out the positive anticipation until departure.
Need an extra push to schedule that workout? Make your favourite audiobook a ‘gym-only’ treat, converting anticipation into motivation.
Don’t borrow trouble, meaning don’t assume a negative outcome. Nip fear of future daydreaming in the bud and convert it to Positive Constructive Daydreaming (the kind of daydreaming that is good for your brain) by imagining the best possible outcome.
When in doubt, stay curious. Curiosity shifts thinking from ‘what if’ to ‘what can’, building resilience and helping us remove positive or negative judgments from possible future scenarios.
Some wonderbringers for me this week:
To Enjoy Life More, Embrace Anticipation: Looking forward to something can be almost as good as experiencing it.
Here’s why planning a trip can help your mental health: The benefits of going on a trip start before you leave your house—here’s why.
Tired and edgy? Sleep deprivation boosts anticipatory anxiety.
Apologies for the typos last week. I tried using speech-to-text and it worked out about as well as I should have expected it to!
What are you anticipating this week?
With wonder,
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